I am starting a new blog post series, in hopes to coordinate with future vlogs. I will sum up my week in a few insta pics and rambles about the things I did, lessons I learned and others things that hopefully can either inspire you or simply put a smile on your face.
Many of you know the past two weeks were undoubtedly the hardest weeks I probably ever endured... emotionally at least. I do not want to say to much because I want this to stay up beat but Jordan lost his dearest friend Chris. It was tragic, unexpected and something that will take a lot of time and faith to heal from. Chris was like family and he was one of the most selfless and caring people I ever met. When you first meet someone, especially as young as he, and they are genuinely interested in getting to know you, they make eye contact with you and smile, you know you are taking to a loving person. Chris was just that and more. I have a hard time getting close to people and he was family from day 1. Situations like this are hard because you are feeling pain yourself but someone you love is hurting even more. I wondered how I was going to not only pick myself up, but I had to be strong for Jordan. I had time to reflect on this past summer with Chris. Nights at the Chesapeake Inn and crazy car rides home, singing as loud as we could. What a blessing it was that we had that time with him. Yes it was cut short but I learned something about friendship. In the midst of the ugly, I saw something beautiful. Never in my life have I met a group of friends stronger than Jordan's. It is truly something you have to witness for yourself. Seeing that kind of love and support coming from men in their twenties is something to admire. They have been through a lot and together they know how to keep each other going. It made me think about my friend's and how much they mean to me. Loosing them would unbearable. When one falls another is there to pick the rest back up. We need loving and supportive people in our lives. So I urge you all to tell your friends and family you love them today because in the end they are the ones that matter the most.
Jordan, Chris and Me
It was hard to "feel good" this week, in all honesty. I had to try extremely hard and I made sure to focus on healing rather than grieving. I did come down with a cold, a nasty one at that which is normal when your entire body is under stress. I wanted to share a few things I learned about how to heal, when hurting is so much easier.
SELF CARE, SELF CARE, SELF CARE
The shock of loss to all of our bodies—emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual—is superb. When we wake in the morning, we question the very nature of who we are. Upon awakening there is a split second when everything is okay in our world.
And then we remember. The storm clouds cover our head again.
Our bodies need to be fed during this time, in order to handle such trauma. Self-care is personal, but I did the things I knew my body wanted: exercise, reading, fresh foods, time with friends and getting out in the sunshine.
ACCEPT WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW
When the pain of loss happens, it’s like a lighting bolt comes and shakes the foundation of the ground. We question everything—our identity, who we are, where we come from, and where we’re going. There is power in surrendering to the unknown.In coming to accept that we no longer have control over what happens to us, we realize that what we once knew we no longer can know. In fact, much of the spiritual experience is coming to realize all that we are not, and less about what we think we are or what we know.
Here, there is great freedom. And it helps us to meet life’s adversity with courage, head-on.
ACCEPT THAT BAD DAYS CAN HAPPEN FOR NO REASON
There are the days, when you are just un-happy. I want to refuse to let it get to me but in all honesty on those days, I just want to be held up at home, watching reality tv and eating sushi. Grief pressures us to go with in. I told my friends, “Bad day. Can’t talk. That’s all.” I didn’t try to force it to be something different, I was honest, maybe a little snappy too.
ALLOW FOR TIME AND SPACE
It takes two years to grieve the loss of a loved one. In human time, that seems like an eternity. There are stages. And each stage brings a remembrance, especially once you start hitting the “year marks.”
Labor day will alway be one of those "dates" and September 11th was the funeral, both well know dates, know with a new remembrance.
ALLOW LIGHT IN THE MIDST OF IT ALL
Although the last two weeks felt like a dark cloud was over us all, there were moments of joy. A great workout, a new business success, seeing family and friends. There were moments I felt great, creative and in my element. Embrace those days and don’t feel guilty. Life is to be lived, because our day will come.
ACCEPT THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Like everything else, all suffering will go, until one day it comes again. The greatest thing about death is that it helps us grow up. It matures us. It brings wisdom. It strengthens our bones. It teaches us to let go. We learn we can go through hard times, and with little effort the sun shines again. We can take off our shoes and touch toes to sand and run on the beach, knowing that we made it through. Our happiness never really went away—it still exists inside of us—yet, we are remembering it anew. Fresh, transformed, aliveness engages us again.
Hard times will always be a part of life. They way we choose to handle them can determine a lot. Are you going to let the hard times win? Or will you overcome them? I know this was a little different for me to post such a deep topic, especially it being a monday. I hope you all stay positive with whatever you are going through and remember our own mindset is a powerful tool. MAEk this week Great!
Much Love,
Haley
XX
