Yes it is Monday. Nobody likes Monday. It is the day you go back to school, work and the hustle and bustle of the week begins again. This Monday is different. I feel like I have broken through something.
For some you may think after reading this, that it is not that big of a realization, but it is for me, and I feel the need to share it.
Things happen in life that can make us or brake us. you are faced with decisions on a daily basis, that affect you or someone around you. YOU make these decisions and YOU experience these things. now... YOU need to be the one who decides on how you let them affect you. I have talked about it a little bit, but the past two years have not only been absolutely wonderful and exciting, but they have also been the hardest year's of my life. I am so guilty of letting my circumstances weigh me down. There was a time when because something did not go right or thing's over a period of time just did not seem to get better, I would stop. I'd shutdown. I could not see past the negative. So my thoughts were negative, my words were negative and as hard I tried I felt as if there was a mental block keeping me from moving forward... The mental block was me.
Being the impatient, Italian-German that I am.... come on, if you are one, you know what I am talking about. I tried quick fixes, or would not know what to do with myself so I waisted more time thinking about what to do than ever actually trying it. Anxiety is a real bugger I happen to suffer from it, but over the last month it has really eased up and I think it has a lot to with what I am about to tell you.
Feeling paralyzed by your own thoughts is a terrible feeling. It can begin really control your life. When I let my paralyzed, anxious mind make decisions for me, I am holding myself back. You are probably thinking... "Haley you sounds like are talking about to personalities." No I am not. We are not our true selves, acting with our full potential when we are in a rut. We were not created to be fearful of life, we are supposed to embrace and take it by force and make each day better than the last. I know not all of you are of the Christian Faith, but I believe everyone could take something from these principles and relate them to their own life.
I read a devotional today that spoke about having positive expectations. I can not tell you how many times I would think the worst about something before it happened. Over the past few months I have really been trying to go out of my comfort zone and say YES to thing's that normally I would have turned down. One of those thing's is my diet. Yes, I said it, I will admit I am rigid and get very habitual with my food. I did a Tone It Up 5 day slim down and really had to push myself to not eat my normal food. As silly as it sounds, I think it helped me be more open to other things. Like changing up my workout routine, being more flexible with my schedule and hanging out with friends. I noticed overall I was happier, lighter in my spirit. I did not let things get to me so much. I have tried numerous times to get even close to wear I am today, I wanted to just give up somedays, but you really do have to just keep going.
One thing that I am able to do now is go for longer runs than my usual 20 min HIIT run. It is not that I couldn't endure the run, it is that I have a " time" issue, always worrying about not having enough of it. So the thought of a long run stressed me out. Today however I told myself I was going to do it. At one point my anxious mind said no stay inside and do 30 minutes on the treadmill. I wrestled with myself and so "no", I am going to do it. So I did, I ran longer than I planed, I told myself to keep going. I was so happy the rest of the day, overcoming that thing that use to hold me back.
God Bless,
Haley Cairo
xx
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